![]() ![]() Would it be near a holiday? Maybe it’ll be close to their anniversary, or birthday? Is it years, or will it be weeks? Knowing a timeframe made the whole thing much more real. One of the nurses turned around from her station, walking closer to the edge of Hange’s bed. ![]() Pieck quickly picked up a cup of water, guiding it towards their mouth to help them drink, before letting Hange continue. “Excuse me?” Their voice came out croaky, clear that they hadn’t consumed much fluid that day. They needed to get things ready for the inevitable, no matter how close or far away it was. But they knew that wouldn’t be fair to others. Hange would rather just go to sleep and not know that they probably wouldn’t wake up. Not that they wanted to know, it’s like having a time bomb strapped to their chest. They didn’t even ask how long they had left. Through the fogginess of their mind, they almost forgot to ask. It was the only way they could continue the days without breaking down. They looked stone cold, devoid of any emotion. Their will, their job, what will happen to Pieck, how long can they stay at home?Īll the questions were swirling around Hange’s head, but they never dared to show it on their face. Hange knew there would be a lot to sort out. They didn’t want to overwhelm the two, occasionally peering in their room to see if there was anything they needed. The doctors would come in and provide them with support groups that they could go to, both for terminal illnesses and for grief. Cancer would continue to grow, spread, and consume, squashing the very organs that work to sustain it. Their body would self-destruct, day by day. What they resented was how their death would be more painful than it needed to be. The ending of life is expected, Hange knew this. Whether it was in 6 weeks, months or years. Hange would die, and Pieck would be alone. Nothing was said between the two, there wasn’t much either could say to make the other feel better. Pieck stayed in Hange’s arms until she could cry no more, holding onto them tightly, afraid they would be taken from her. The medical team took this as their sign to leave, allowing the couple to have some alone time after the devastating news. With her eyes welling up with more tears, Pieck wrapped her arms around Hange, crying into their shoulder as Hange stroked her back. “It’s okay, Pieck.” Despite their body looking cold and frail, Hange’s smile was warm, smiling at their wife to provide her with some form of comfort. They were scared to look her in the eye, the sadness they would see would kill them faster than any disease could. Hange focused on their wife, kissing her palm before they put their hands over hers. “Hange… Hange please look at me,” Pieck held Hange’s face in her hands, trembling as she caressed their cheek using her thumb. Whether it was through shock or processing the information, their face remained stoic. Pieck was the one asking questions though, Hange remained silent. ![]() The medical team were fantastic, staying with Hange and Pieck to answer any questions either might have. That being said, continuing treatment does generally keep a person alive for longer.” Whereas stopping treatment will be able to give them some of their life back. They would be dealing with the side effects of chemotherapy until they die. However, we must think about the quality of life Hange would have. “There is always the option of continuing chemotherapy and seeing where that gets us. Pieck was begging, the tears stained her face with no sign of stopping. Anything? Please, there has to be something”. “That can’t be right, there must be something you can do? Radiation therapy, immunotherapy, more chemo. Hange’s life will likely be four walls and pain medication until they die. Hange stared at the doctor as his words began to splinter inside them, causing more pain than cancer. (of a disease) predicted to lead to death, especially slowly incurable. ![]()
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